Hot Fuzzy Feeling
by FriedGoldNotebook
Summary: Set after the sea mine explosion. Danny is recovering and Nicholas wants to look after him but things don't go to plan. Pain, angst, fear and two confused guys not really able to express their emotions. What could possibly go wrong? Nicholas/Danny. Inc. male homosexuality, just to be clear! Rated T for language (as in the film) and sexy stuff. PLEASE R and R with your comments :)
1. Chapter 1

**Hot Fuzzy Feeling**

Prologue

"Nicholas!" Danny was screaming. He was running to where his partner lay on his back gasping from the impact of a massive bullet wound to the chest. Blood started to run slowly from the corner of his mouth. His eyes were panicked and glazing. Danny crashed to his knees beside him and pressed his hands over the gaping hole, the red stain spreading rapidly beneath his fingers.

"Nicholas, hold on!" He urged, his voice choking on dust and emotion. "Just hold on, everything's going to be fine!" Nicholas was covered in blood and dirt. Black dust from the explosion coated his skin and his once crisp white shirt, mixing with the vivid red from his many injuries. His eyes focused on Danny for a second and he tried to speak but all that came out was a gurgle through a mouthful of blood. It was the briefest of looks, but Danny felt the full force of his partner's intended meaning. Goodbye Danny. The blue eyes closed. His body stilled and went limp, his head rolling to one side.

"No, Nicholas! Please! Please don't!"

Chapter 1

"Arghhh!"

Nicholas leapt instinctively off the sofa and was on his feet before his eyes had even opened.

At the second scream, he was racing up Danny's stairs two at a time, drawing a hand gun from a holster at his hip. Before Danny could open his mouth to scream for a third time, Nicholas burst through the bedroom door, gun up and braced between both hands. He swept the room in less than a second, the door smashed back against the wall, confirming there was no one there but Danny. Nicholas focused on the bed. Danny was thrashing about from side to side, sort of moaning, no comprehensible words coming out of his mouth. Nicholas approached, lowering his weapon.

"Danny? Are you all right?"

Danny continued to moan, and began clawing at the sheets around him. He was soaked in sweat, his face wet with tears, and obviously having a vivid nightmare. Nicholas holstered his gun as he reached the bedside.

"Danny, it's me. It's Nicholas." Simply talking to him wasn't going to work and Danny was starting to flail his arms about, punching at the air. Nicholas grabbed hold of his wrists, attempting to still the random swipes he was making.

"Danny, wake up!" Nicholas shouted at him "It's Nicholas, Danny! For fuck's sake, wake up!"

Danny's eyes opened, but he was blind with panic and the lingering visions of his nightmare.

"Oh god! Nic'las! Nic'las!"

"Hey!" Nicholas shouted. Danny finally focused on him. "It's all right! It's me." Nicholas' voice quietened as he progressed through the words. "You're ok. Everything's ok. Ok?" The briefest flash of a half smile crossed Nicholas' face at his own choice of words.

"But you...I... What the fuck happened?" Danny gasped, bewildered.

"It's all right, Danny, relax. It was just a dream. I heard you screaming and I thought..." Nicholas trailed off. Danny was still panting with the exertion of his nightmare, the adrenalin still pulsing round his body. His eyes fell to where Nicholas' hands still gripped his wrists. Nicholas followed his line of sight and started slightly, releasing his hold.

"Sorry, you were thrashing about, I had to wake you up." Suddenly Nicholas felt incredibly awkward, what was he thinking charging in here in the middle of the night? Danny was only having a bad dream, for fuck's sake, he'd have woken up on his own eventually. Danny was nodding, though, wide eyed, still getting his breath back. He blinked hard, as though to test whether Nicholas would still be there when he reopened his eyes.

"Shit. That was... horrible. Fuckin' nightmare. Thanks for wakin' me up." Danny replied, seemingly not in agreement that this was in any way an overreaction on Nicholas' part. Nicholas released a breath he hadn't realised he had been holding.

As the last of Danny's adrenalin seeped away, he slumped back into the bed, he wiped the back of his hand across his sweaty forehead and then swept his palm over each cheek, removing further moisture. Had he been crying in his sleep? Had Nick seen him? Danny cleared his throat to cover his embarrassment. Nicholas mistook this visible change in demeanour as a cue that Danny wanted him to leave and straightened up.

"Listen, I don't have to stay downstairs, you know." Nicholas paused, hoping Danny would insist he could.

"No..." Danny replied slowly, lengthening the short word, and not meeting Nicholas' eye. Nicholas silently berated himself for making the suggestion. He didn't want to leave Danny alone, but as it was what Danny wanted, he would have to comply. He looked down to do up the zip on his jacket.

"I'll head back to the hotel then, obviously you can call me if you need anything." He continued, pulling the zip up and turning away. A blush was starting to tint his cheeks and he couldn't wait to get out of there. Feeling embarrassed and stupid was not something Nicholas Angel was accustomed to, but for some reason he had often felt like that when in the prescence of Danny recently. He bumbled his way over to the door in the half light muttering that he would come to see him again tomorrow morning. Had he looked back at Danny, he would have seen his normally soft features crushed into an expression of bitter disappointment. Danny's interpretation of not staying downstairs was that he would stay upstairs instead, preferably in Danny's bed. But Nicholas didn't look back. Danny listened as he rushed down the stairs and out of the front door.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N This is my first proper fanfic (not a one shot) and I'll be updating regularly - hopefully daily! Please let me know if you're reading it with a review :) Bit of background in this chapter...

Chapter 2

Danny could not understand why Nicholas had left. Why would he leave him alone when he was so obviously terrified? Not to mention the pain he was still in from the blast he had taken to save Nicholas' life. After spending over a month in hospital, during which time he had undergone multiple operations and been awarded a promotion to sergeant, he had finally been released that morning and Nicholas had been there to take him home. He had been so thoughtful and caring, looking after him all day and saying he would sleep on the sofa in case Danny needed anything in the night and could not get downstairs, as moving about was still so painful.

Danny had relished the time alone with his hero. He had basked in the attention Nicholas lavished on him. His body zinged every time they touched. Which, considering he needed help to move around the house, was gloriously frequently. He had felt safe knowing Nick was staying to look out for him when he went to bed. It had been kind of distracting as well though. Knowing Nick was downstairs, so proverbially close and far, had kept him awake for a long time. He was desperate to jack off, a regular occurrence when he usually thought about Nicholas late at night in the privacy of his own bed. But this time, he couldn't. For one thing it would be far too painful to move and tense his body the way he would need to. He would also struggle to clean himself up afterwards and that was something he would rather die than let Nicholas see.

So he had laid there, utterly frustrated and tormented, until eventually he fell asleep. And then the torment just got worse. The dreams which plagued him hardly needed a psychologist to unravel. He was terrified of being without Nicholas. Of something happening to him and being powerless to stop it. It was ironic in a way, seeing as he had already proved he would do anything to save Nicholas from being hurt. When he leapt in front of Tom Weaver's gun, he was willing to literally die to save him, and he came pretty close. But on a level deeper than physically losing Nicholas, was the fear of one day no longer having the close relationship they currently enjoyed. Even though Danny was hopelessly in love with Nick, he would happily accept that it was never going to be anything more, just as long as he had him in his life. As long as they were partners and best friends. He knew Nick cared deeply about him. He just wasn't gay and that was that. And Danny could cope with that, he knew he could cope when Nick finally met someone he cared about more than the job. He would be happy for him when he got married and had a family. Just as long as Nick still made time for him. As long as he was still his best mate. Then he could cope with just fantasising about him, coming over his own hand every night imagining it was Nicholas Angel doing it. Doing him.

When Danny had woken in total confusion and utter horror from his nightmare, he was convinced that he had failed to save Nick and had just watched him die. When he saw him, when he felt his hands warm and strong on his wrists, the rush of relief was staggeringly intense. His whole body had sagged limply and he had realised with shame that he had been crying. He had been so glad Nick was there though, so happy that he had stayed to look after him, come running when he thought Danny needed him. He had comforted him and it made Danny's heart strain with pleasure. Then almost before he had had chance to draw breath, Nicholas was gone. And so the tears had come again, pouring down his face. He could not stand being apart from Nicholas. He hadn't realised how much his life revolved around him. Nicholas had cruelly left him alone when Danny needed him most, when he was desperate for the comfort of Nick's physical prescence. Danny sobbed quietly into his pillow, his despair was completely overwhelming, the feeling of abandonment viscious and searing.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Danny wiped his face with the back of his hand, grabbed a tissue from the bedside table and blew his snotty nose.

"Man up, Butterman." He told himself aloud. "Just fuckin' deal wi' it."

He tried to sleep. He really did try. He tried with the bedside light on (too bright), with the light off (too scary), on his left side, on his back, on his right side. He couldn't lie on his stomach, it was too painful. He tried having some of the water Nick had left for him. He tried playing music on his phone. He tried pulling on the extra blanket Nick had placed at the end of the bed in case he got cold, but he started sweating immediately. He tried throwing all the covers off to cool down and was shaking within minutes. He even tried taking a couple more of his painkillers. The good ones that usually almost knocked him out. Rather than making him drowsy, they gave him the inhibitions of a man on his eighth pint. It was at this point that he decided to ring Nicholas.

"Yeah?" Nicholas croaked, obviously having just woken up.

"Nicholash, s'me, Danny." He slurred into the phone. "I need you, Nicholash. Please help me."

"Danny have you been drinking?" Nicholas asked sharply, instantly wide awake.

"Can't sheep."

"What?"

"Can't sleep." Danny corrected laboriously.

"Are you all right, Danny?" Nicholas asked, gentler this time.

There was a slight pause. Nicholas opened his mouth to ask again when he heard a little gasping sound as Danny began to sob.

"NO!" He cried. "I'm no'all right... MATE!" He sarcastically emphasised the last word. "You left me here all by myself! How coul'you do that?" Nicholas was stunned and more than a little confused.

"Danny, I don't understand. I thought you wanted me to go. Look, just stay where you are, I'm coming over." Nicholas hung up as he jumped out of bed and started hastily getting dressed.

"Ain't goin' nowhere am I?" Danny mumbled morosely at his now blank mobile screen.

When Nicholas arrived at Danny's house in his brand new Sandford Constabulary Subaru Impreza exactly 8 minutes later (definitely a record which could only be set at 3.27 in the morning), he could see the light was on in the bedroom. He let himself in with his key and headed straight upstairs.

"Dan, it's me." He called out. No reply. The bedroom door was shut, of course it was, that was how he himself had left it. Nicholas knocked.

"Yeeeesssss?" Danny called out in a silly high pitched voice. Nicholas frowned, where had he even got any booze from anyway? He opened the door and stepped inside. Danny was sat up in bed, eyes blotched and red from crying.

"Oh it's Inspector Angel! Come to save the world again!"

"Danny, have you been drinking?"

Danny snorted.

"How the fuck would I have been drinking? I can't even get downstairs by myself!" The slurring speech seemed to have gone. Nicholas' highly tuned investigative senses had taken in everything in the room in the time it had taken Danny to reply. Amid piles of used tissues, a phone, iPod and headphones, screwed up receipts, various pens, Cornetto wrapper, loose change and a half eaten packet of polos on the bedside table, the bottle of painkillers being out of the paper bag he left it in told him everything he needed to know.

"Shit, Danny. You took some more painkillers, didn't you?"

"What the fuck do you care?" Danny's eyes moistened again. "You don't care about me."

"How many, Danny?" Nicholas crossed the room in two bounds, grabbed the bottle and started emptying out the contents into his hand, counting, calculating. If he was honest, panicking.

"You don't care about me but I love you, Nicholas!" Inhibitions still hadn't returned then, Nick noted. "I love you." Danny repeated, quietly this time, miserably.

"Please, Danny, just tell me how many you took?" Nicholas' vision was blurring as he tried not to lose count of the pills.

"You're everything to me. You don't know it but I think about you all the time."

"fourteen, fifteen, sixteen..."

"You drive me nuts, Nicholas. You look so fucking hot in uniform."

"twenty-three, twenty-four..."

"Your tight trousers and your shirt always so crisp."

"Twenty-nine, thirty..."

"And when you smile that sexy smile at me, Christ, I want to kiss your face off!"

"Danny, shut up! You're going to make me loose... What?!" Nicholas' head snapped up and he stared at him in utter shock.

Still under the influence, Danny grinned slowly at him.

"I want to kiss you, Nicholas. I want you. I fuckin' love you. Ever since the first night we met. You arresting me was the sexiest thing that's ever happened to me."

Nicholas was stunned, rooted to the spot, trademark frown fixed on his face. He blinked. Closed his mouth, tilting his head on one side. Opened it to speak. Closed it again.

The silence was deafening. Nicholas looked down into his palm again. Thirty four little white pills, he concluded. Should be thirty six. Danny had only taken two extra? And it was already half way through the night so they were only a couple of hours early. And they had made him this unaware of what he was saying? Was he having a reaction to them? It was possible, he'd only been put on them that morning, it could take twelve or so hours to develop. He looked back up at Danny, who had gone a peculiar shade of whitish green.

"Think I'm gonna throw up." He blurted. He rolled onto his side and tried to get out of the bed. "Argghhh!" He cried at the pain this sudden movement inflicted. Nicholas dumped the handful of pills on the paper bag that had contained the bottle and moved in under Danny's left arm. He supported and lifted him out of the bed, half dragging, half carrying him into the en suite bathroom. Danny grabbed hold of the edge of the sink and began vomiting violently into it.

"Shit." Nicholas muttered, unsure what to do. He glanced around and grabbed the only towel off the floor. He gagged and abruptly dropped it again as the unmistakable smell of stale male ejaculate reached his nostrils.

"Fuck!" He exclaimed in revulsion. He dashed out of the bathroom and into the spare bedroom where he knew the fresh towels were in the cupboard. Grabbing a couple he ran back into the bathroom to find Danny had finished, and evidently rinsed his face as water was dripping off his chin. He was leaning back against the sink, breathing hard. He saw the towels in Nicholas' hands and they both glanced unconsciously at the one on the floor.

"Err, sorry that should be in the laundry basket."

"Don't worry about it. Here." Nicholas proffered the clean towels. Danny took one and gratefully buried his head in it, his cheeks burning. Awesome skills, Butterman. Declare undying love for senior officer, proceed to vomit in his presence and top it all off by allowing him to see disgusting evidence of your sordid little crush on him.

"I'll give you a minute." Nicholas said to the towel covered head. "I'll be in the bedroom." He clarified. There was no way he was leaving this time, even if Danny begged him to. He had to know if what Danny had said was just the drugs talking.

At the sound of the bathroom door closing, Danny slowly pulled the towel forwards off his head.

"Fuck." He breathed, almost silently. "Fuck, shit, fuck. You stupid fucking moron." He dragged in a lungful of air and blew it slowly out of his mouth in an attempt to calm himself down.

A/N Thanks for reading :) Please review, even if just to say Hi!

And I'll keep updating this regularly, promise!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Another chapter for you lovely people, hope you're enjoying it - I know it's a bit of a slow burn but I think I just wanted to explore how Nicholas and Danny interact. I'll get to the good stuff eventually though, don't worry! As always, please review, follow, or favourite if you're enjoying it :) Much love.

Chapter 4

Nicholas looked up as the bathroom door finally opened. Danny was easing himself through the doorway on his crutches, wincing with each step. Neither of them said a word. Danny manoeuvred himself over to the bed and, using his crutches to take his weight, he lowered himself down to a sitting position. Nicholas watched, aching to help him, but not wanting to touch him without being asked. Finally Danny met his eye.

"Can you help me get my legs in bed?" He mumbled.

"Of course."

Nicholas lifted his legs for him and swivelled him into a lying down position.

"Can you turn off the bathroom light? I forgot."

"Oh...Yes." Nicholas glanced over to the bathroom, strode over and flicked off the light. The bedroom was now only lit by the soft glow of the bedside lamp.

"Can you get me another glass of water, please?"

"Oh for fu..." Nicholas started, but something about Danny's expression stopped him. "Yes. Of course." He picked up Danny's empty glass. "Are we going to talk about this?"

"What? I'm thirsty."

"And I'll get you some water. But first, talk to me."

"That's torture, ya Fascist." Danny mumbled, avoiding Nicholas' penetrating gaze.

Nicholas exhaled, exasperated.

"Danny."

"Nicholas." There was a pause. It was a stand off. This was the bit in western films when tumbleweed blows by as the two protagonists eye each other up, fingers twitching beside their holstered guns. Predictably, Danny cracked first. "Are you going to leave again?"

"No."

Nicholas was gratified to detect the slight release of breath that signalled Danny's relief. The silence stretched on. Tension solidified the air between them, choking and suffocating. It was Nicholas' turn to break it.

"I don't know what to do, Danny. And that isn't a feeling I'm accustomed to. I want... Ok, I'm not sure what I want. But you know I..." Nicholas, ordinarily so deliciously eloquent, was scrambling for words. "I bought you that Japanese Peace Lily for a reason!" He blurted.

Danny gave a small, nervous smile. As a response to his using the L word with absolutely no regard for the consequences, it was a pretty good result.

"Thanks. Means a lot."

"Right, well. Let's just leave it there then shall we? I'll get the water."

"Nicholas, wait!" He turned back, his hand on the door handle. Danny grinned guiltily. "I'm not really thirsty, if I drink anything else, I'll need a pee again."

Nicholas had been looking forward to having a minute to himself whilst fetching the water. He needed to regroup, he needed to process what was going on here.

"I'll be on the sofa if you need anything, then." He said stiffly, once again overtaken by embarrassment. He opened the door and was out on the landing by the time Danny spoke.

"Nick!... Can you please stay... up here for a bit? I, err, I don't wanna go to sleep yet."

"You need to rest."

"I just have nightmares though." Danny whined. "Come on, we can talk about what should happen in Point Break 2."

Nicholas sighed and came back through the doorway. There was no chair in the room so he sat on the floor leaning against the wall to the left of the bed. Danny moved awkwardly to lie on his right hand side so he could look at him.

"Whaddya fink then?"

"Sorry?"

"Point Break 2." Danny clarified.

"Did we watch that? I don't remember it."

"They haven't made it yet! But what d'ya think should 'appen?"

Nicholas forced his brain to focus on recalling the film rather than analysing his feelings for Danny.

"But isn't Patrick Swayze dead?"

"Yeah. It won't be Keanu Reeves either apparently." Danny spoke through a yawn.

"Well what about the director? Surely it's the same director at least."

"Nope."

"So let me make sure I understand this completely. A film is being made which is being called a sequel to Point Break. However, it will have a different director and BOTH leading actors, who I'm sure you'll agree were instrumental to the success of the original film, are to be replaced. Well, I'm not sure that can really be called a sequel then, are you?"

Nicholas looked up at Danny and smiled tenderly. Danny was sound asleep, mouth slightly open, his facial features more relaxed than Nicholas had seen them since before the whole NWA conspiracy was uncovered. Nicholas stood silently and, reaching over Danny, he took the pillow from the other side of the bed. He settled back down with his back against the wall, jammed the pillow behind his head and closed his eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N - Ok first little bit of smut today, just to warn you! As always, reviews are much appreciated :)

Chapter 5

Danny awoke to a fuzzy bright light seeping in around the edge of the curtains in his bedroom. He had slept dreamlessly and deeply. Christ, it felt good. As he opened his eyes fully and focused, he saw Nicholas curled up on the floor, back against the wall, with his head half on and half off the other pillow from Danny's bed. Danny's heart thumped against his ribs. Nicholas was still here. He had stayed to look after him and his mere presence seemed to have cured the problem of Danny's nightmares. Danny didn't move, didn't make a sound. If Nicholas woke up, he would instantly get up and start doing things, getting ready for a new day, and Danny would loose this precious, silent moment alone with him, when there were no distractions and no awkwardness.

He gazed at Nicholas, the morning light glinting on his sexy, short, gold hair. There was no arguing, the man was beautiful. Danny studied his face, the zigzag hairline that he loved so much. His skin so smooth and silky pale, the line of his jaw and his lips, holy crap those pale pink lips. Danny felt himself harden looking at Nicholas' mouth, the usually stern line softened by sleep. He could not stop himself from imagining those lips on his, and that mouth around his cock. He was bulging now, his morning glory encouraged by the Angel porn he was enjoying. The forbidden nature of it only made it hotter. His commanding officer, his best friend, he shouldn't be thinking about Nicholas like this. But he was and without realising it, his hand had wrapped itself around his penis, hard as metal, so hard it hurt. Whenever he had masturbated over Nicholas before, it had been over the thought of him, his brain conjuring up things he didn't think he was capable of imagining. But now he had the real thing, right in front of him, most probably a once in a lifetime opportunity. Every sentient thought was screaming at him not to do it, how could he possibly hide it? But his hand was gently tugging, the familiar touch rousing him further as he drew a silent deep breath and didn't take his eyes off Nicholas' face. He wanted to remember this forever, so when Nick got married and his minuscule chance finally disappeared, he could always remember this. It would be almost like they had been together just this once. It would be the Paris they would always have, in Danny's mind at least.

Danny was clenching his teeth tightly to prevent himself from making any noise, the only sound was the sheets rustling around his right hand. Please don't wake up! Danny silently begged as he felt himself getting near the edge. He admired the toned bulge of Nicholas' forearms and the hard muscled thighs he could make out through his tight trousers. As his gaze settled back onto Nicholas' face, his vision suddenly blurred and he squeezed his eyes tightly shut, his whole body tensed and he gasped involuntarily as he came hard into his hand. It was definitely one of the best he'd ever had, nerve endings buzzed all over his body, he even felt like his hair was tingling. For a few delicious seconds, Danny panted and enjoyed the fading euphoria before glancing terrified at Nicholas to check he was still asleep. He was. Danny kept as still as he could as he balled up part of the sheet in his right hand and cleaned himself off with it. His forehead was slimy with sweat and he cautiously reached up with his left hand to swipe at it. Biting back a groan of pain, he shifted himself to a half sitting position and pulled the sheet out from where Nicholas had tucked it under the bottom of the mattress. He smiled despite the situation as he remembered Nicholas insisting on putting fresh sheets on the bed when he had brought Danny home the previous day. With the incriminating sheet now free, he made sure he was completely clean, wrapped the sheet in on itself to form as tight a ball as he could and then chucked it across the room towards the laundry basket. Thanking himself for being such a slob and leaving the lid up, he watched in suspense as the sheet flew through the air and then plopped satisfyingly into the basket.

"Yes!" He whispered. Nicholas stirred on the floor in response to the sound. Danny quickly lay back down, pulling the duvet back over himself, moisture springing into his eyes as pain gouged through his stomach wound. He looked at Nicholas just in time to see him open his eyes. He watched as comprehension gradually arrived in Nick's expression as he remembered where he was. His eyes flicked up to meet Danny's and he smiled.

"Morning."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N – Nicholas is finally facing up to his feelings for Danny this chapter – we're getting there! As usual I love reviews, follows or favourites :) Still don't own Nicholas Angel – damn! :(

Chapter 6

Half an hour later, they were both dressed and downstairs. Nicholas was busy in the kitchen and Danny was sitting at the kitchen table, daydreaming and reliving his highly risky morning's activities.

"What would you like on your toast?" Nicholas interrupted his thoughts unceremoniously.

"Err... butter and strawberry jam?" Danny called back.

He heard Nicholas opening the fridge and moving about in the kitchen. A moment later, he placed a plate containing two slices of jam covered toast and a mug of coffee in front of Danny.

Nicholas sat opposite him and blew on the surface of his coffee before taking a sip as Danny started to tuck into his breakfast. Nicholas flicked open yesterday's paper and scanned the pages for anything meaningful, or which could be in any way related to policing Sandford. They sat in companionable silence for a while, the only noises being the soft sounds of Danny eating and Nicholas shifting the pages over.

"I've got to go into work for a bit, today." Nicholas stated, in a businesslike tone. "Not all day, I just need to check everyone's behaving, and catch up on what I missed yesterday."

Danny nodded, still munching, eyes down to hide his disappointment. Looking up from the newspaper and noting Danny's expression, Nicholas added, softer this time. "I'll be as quick as I can, though."

"Sure." Danny mumbled with his mouth full.

"Right, I'll clean up around here, get you settled on the sofa and head off then." Nicholas gulped down the last of his coffee and leant back in his chair. He stretched out both arms, feeling the tightness in his back scream from a night sleeping in such an unnatural position. He tipped his head one way then the other, cracking his neck on both sides. Danny swallowed the last of his toast.

"Fanks for breakfast. Last night wasn't very comfortable for you, was it?"

"It's all right. I'm just a bit stiff." Danny caught Nicholas' eye at this and they both let out a short chuckle of laughter.

"The old ones is always the best!" Giggled Danny. It felt great to be laughing with Nicholas again, the awkwardness of last night having seemingly evaporated.

Nicholas recovered first, but still smiling, he carried the plate and cups through into the kitchen and put them in the dishwasher. Danny used his crutches to get up and transferred himself to the sofa where he flicked on the DVD player.

"Do you need anything before I go?" Nicholas asked, reappearing in the lounge.

"Cornetto?" Danny asked.

"You've just had breakfast!" Then at Danny's cute smile, he sighed resignedly, "Oh all right, hold on."

Nicholas delivered the Cornetto, a plain one, Danny's favourite, along with his mobile phone which he placed next to him on the arm of the sofa.

"Give me a ring if you... need to." Nicholas squeezed one hand on Danny's shoulder gently and grabbed his jacket off the back of the sofa with the other.

This small gesture of intimacy made Danny's breath catch in his throat. Normally, Nicholas didn't touch him very often and whenever he did it always felt special. Danny was desperate for any scrap of physical attention Nicholas would allow him. What he didn't realise was that Nicholas was only just beginning to admit to himself how much he wanted to touch Danny, how much he felt like he needed to be near him and had to be in his presence to know he was ok, to know they both were.

As Nicholas got himself back to his cottage, showered and changed and then drove to work, Danny was persistently in his thoughts. He checked his phone every few minutes, in case Danny had called or texted and he'd missed it. Nothing. He arrived at work and rounded up the team for a briefing.

"So, what's been going on, then?" He asked.

"Old Mrs. Gregor from Thomson's Hill Road called in yesterday, but that was just to ask how Da... how Sergeant Butterman was." Constable Doris Thatcher offered. "How is Sergeant Butterman?" She added. Nicholas smiled.

"Doing very well, thank you, Doris. I'll let him know you asked after him."

The Andys exchanged a meaningful glance and subtle limp wrist gestures. Nicholas fractionally narrowed his eyes at them. Observing this, Sergeant Tony Fisher hurriedly continued.

"We have all completed our final reports pertaining to the NWA case, Chief. Myself and Constable Thatcher covered all the patrols yesterday and there was very little to report. We had a cat stuck up a tree in the morning and then some intelligence came in regarding the vandalism of a street sign after lunch."

"Oh, really, which street?" Angel asked. The Andys sniggered.

"Canal Street, Sir." Tony replied, straight faced.

"And how exactly..." Before he could finish the question, Fisher shoved a police photograph under Nicholas' nose. It showed the street sign with the C of Canal spray painted out, and some explanatory drawings added for the avoidance of any doubt. "Oh I see." Angel finished flatly. The Andy's burst out laughing and even Doris smiled.

"Cocks." Blurted Constable Bob Walker, mercifully at the exact moment Saxon barked.

"Right, it would appear you've got everything under control. I'll be in my office."

Nicholas shut the door behind him and sat heavily at his desk. Christ, he missed having Danny around. Usually, the team were so much more committed now and even the Andys were generally willing to take orders from him without complaint since his NWA take down. He hadn't realised how much Danny just tipped the balance in his favour though. His hero-worshipping loyalty did make the rest of them more respectful, as Danny was so universally liked. Plus they all thankfully felt he deserved to be given a break after what had happened with his father. Nicholas, therefore, was a much easier target alone. On another day, a day when Danny was there, Nicholas would have had a laugh with them all about the rather unimaginative altering of the street sign. Usually, he didn't even mind about the gay innuendo and crass jokes from the Andys either. But without Danny, it seemed so personal and mean.

He sighed and rubbed his aching eyes. His desk was just as usual, neat and tidy, with no extraneous items to clutter its surface. Usually that would be a sight that made him happy as order kept him calm. But today it just seemed so... dead. There was no personality in the office, nothing to show that Nicholas Angel sat at this desk, save for the wooden name plaque stating matter of factly that he did. Nicholas suddenly felt just as dead and empty as his office was. There were just two files in his in tray, presumably regarding the cat and the street sign respectively, awaiting his signature. His desk phone was flashing with messages though and as he reached out to press play, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in."

Doris poked her head around the door frame hesitantly.

"Do you 'ave a minute, Sir?" Nicholas retracted his outstretched hand from the phone and waved her in with it instead.

"Of course, have a seat. What can I do for you, Doris?" Doris Thatcher, along with Tony Fisher had changed the most since the NWA shoot out. She was always striving to be professional nowadays, even if she didn't quite manage it 100% of the time. She no longer spent her time gazing dreamily at the pictures of actors she had on her computer screen saver. She had sought out more responsibility, volunteered for extra shifts and regularly helped Nicholas with the huge burden of paperwork he personally incurred as a newly promoted Inspector. He now had to deal with all manner of staffing and regulatory issues which had never previously fallen within his remit. Doris had quietly become something of a secretary to him. He was in no doubt that she was the reason his desk had remained so tidy, despite the previous day spent devoted solely to looking after Danny. Nicholas was deeply grateful, especially as the fact she managed to do all this in addition to her normal work meant he could still go out on patrol. Right now though, Doris shifted nervously in her seat as Nicholas waited for her to speak.

"Err... well forgive me if I'm speakin' out o' turn, Sir, but I just wanted to say... not to mind the Andys, Sir. They don't mean anythin' by it. They're just banterin' wiv you. I know it sounds daft but they wouldn't do it if they didn't really like you." Doris paused, breath held, waiting for a response from Nicholas, unsure if she was about to get a telling off for speaking inappropriately to a senior officer. Nicholas smiled briefly.

"Thank you, Doris, that's kind of you to point out. It isn't something which normally bothers me. It's just getting to me today for some reason."

"Because Danny's still not here." It was a statement, not a question. And it seemed pointless to argue.

"Well, yes, actually." There was a pause, Doris was fidgeting, trying to build up courage to continue. Finally she met Nicholas' eye.

"You miss him when he's not around, don't you, Sir? I mean we all do..."

"He's my partner, Doris. So, yes, I miss working with him."

"Yes, he's your partner. Also, Sir... Well... Danny... He 'as a lot o' respect for you. He worships the ground you walk on if I'm honest..."

"Have you and he been speaking about me?

"No! Well yes, a bit, Sir."

"You can stop calling me Sir, Doris. It's just you and me here, call me Nicholas." Doris nodded, then took a deep breath.

"Ok. Well, _Nicholas, _Danny finks the world of you and _I_ just fink maybe you'd be happier if you, you know, let him know what you fink of him." She smiled, relieved to have got to the point.

"I'm sorry I don't follow." Nicholas frowned. Doris' relief was short lived.

"Ok, well, I don't mean to pry, Sir, damn! I mean Nicholas, sorry! But I feel like we know each other well enough and we're... well, we're friends, At least I like to fink so."

"Yes, we are friends, Doris."

"Well, Sir... Nicholas, have you considered... I mean is it possible that..." She looked pleadingly at him, willing him to understand without her having to spell it out. He looked disappointingly perplexed. She shut her eyes, gathering all her courage and when she opened them, spoke calmly and directly to him for the first time since she had entered the room.

"Look, Danny might want to kill me when he finds out I've spoken about this wiv you but it seems obvious to me that you two 'ave a special relationship, so I'm goin' to take my chances. Danny told me he wants to be wiv you, romantically I mean." Nicholas' eyes widened but Doris kept ploughing on regardless. "I'm not trying to tell you what to do, or how to feel, but I think you should know how he feels so you can avoid hurting him, unnecessarily-like." Doris sucked in a deep ragged breath to fuel her finale. "I fink you could do a lot worse, too. He's a lovely man, he's plainly mad about you, and you clearly adore 'im, you're just a bit scared to admit it, that's all."

There was a silence which seemed to last years. Doris shrunk back into her chair, her courage completely dissipated. Nicholas swallowed hard, staring at her with a troubled expression. He opened his mouth but couldn't trust himself to speak without his voice cracking with emotion. He wanted to tell her to get out and mind her own business. How dare she come in here and suggest... suggest what exactly? The truth? Was it so bad? Did he like Danny, you know, like that? His mind was whirring, all the thoughts he'd been repressing leapt snarling up at him. The times his narrowed eyes had crept over to jealously watch Danny laughing with the barmaid whilst ordering drinks in the Crown. The precious late night movies watched sitting close together on Danny's sofa, when sometimes his leg would accidentally brush Danny's meaty thigh. The instinctive way they interacted when their thinking was perfectly in synch. Like during the NWA gunfight, he had always known exactly where Danny was and what he was about to do. They had moved and acted and fought as one. That is until his guard was down and he had finally relaxed in time for Tom Weaver to make his appearance. Then it had been Danny who had anticipated perfectly what was going to happen. Danny had taken a bullet for him. He had jumped in front of a lunatic with a gun to save him. How had the enormity of that passed Nicholas by? Why had he tried to block out what it meant that Danny would do that for him? Suddenly all his defences were crumbling to nothing. All the times he'd forced himself to not touch Danny, to not even think about him, to tell himself that this was ridiculous, that he was straight, all came charging at him. The truth assaulted him, it overran him, like he was an army hopelessly out numbered and out gunned. He loved Danny. More than anyone he'd ever loved and much more than the job. He would do anything for him. He would jump in the path of a bullet for him, without any hesitation. He blinked and realised Doris had stood up and was preparing to leave, looking uncertain and scared.

"I... I don't want our private business bandied about the station." Nicholas stammered. He knew she would know what he meant. That she was right, that everything she had said was right. But that he couldn't cope with everybody knowing something so personal about himself and Danny. Especially before he had had a chance to talk to Danny about it himself. Doris smiled.

"Of course, Sir."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N – Janine reappears in this chapter, and gets a good bashing! Enjoy :)

Chapter 7

The rest of the day was something of a blur to Nicholas. Danny was all he could think about. For the first time in his career, he couldn't wait to get out of work and go home, he finally had something to go home to. He had only meant to stay until lunchtime but he kept getting delayed. Not by any actual police work, however. A steady stream of villagers insisted on speaking to him personally to thank him for unmasking the NWA, and to ask him how Danny was recovering. It was nice, but very time consuming.

Worse was the fact that once London got wind that Nicholas was in the office, legions of former colleagues phoned him in quick succession. None of them had bothered to contact him before he became such a celebrity, however. Their sudden interest in his well being was rooted solely in the desire to bask in some of his reflected glory. It was draining, as well as time consuming. Nicholas had brought up Danny's number on his mobile phone three times, only to have either it or his office phone ring just as he was about to press the call button.

The most difficult phone call came from a very unexpected source, though.

"Hi Nick, it's me."

"Janine?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Err... What can I do for you, Janine?" Nicholas asked warily. Without preamble, Janine got straight to the point.

"Well, Nicholas, I was speaking to Gary and he knows Mark, who knows your Chief Inspector at the Met..."

"He's not my Chief Inspector, I don't work there any more."

"Well that's just it. You see, your Chief Inspector is apparently desperate for you to come back and we all know you never wanted to leave London in the first place so..."

"I know he wants me back." Nicholas interrupted flatly. "He flew all the way down here in a police helicopter which, by the way, constituted a serious misuse of resources, to ask me to go back to London right after the... about a month ago." Nicholas finished, he still found it difficult to talk about the explosion that had so nearly killed Danny.

"What, really?" Janine sounded truly shocked.

"Yes, why?"

"Well, what are you still doing there then?"

"I told him I wanted to stay."

"Why on earth would you do a thing like that?

"Because... I want to stay!" Nicholas raised his voice, exasperation getting the better of him.

"You can't want to stay _there_!" She emphasised the last word with disgust. "What about all the excitement and challenge of London policing?"

"I think I've had quite enough excitement recently, thank you very much." Nicholas' reply was clipped.

"But what about us?" There was a pause as he honestly did not know how to reply. "I miss you, Nicholas. I miss your endless pursuit of justice and your unshakeable belief in right and wrong. You're so... noble, and... and … capable. I never realised how sexy that was."

"Until you saw my picture splashed across the TV and on the front of all the papers you mean?"

"We were together for two years, doesn't that mean anything to you?" Again, Nicholas didn't reply. "I never stopped loving you, you know. I just made a mistake. A terrible mistake and I'm asking if you can forgive me."

"It's not really about forgiving you, Janine."

"Well, what is it about then?"

"It's... well, it's about how I... feel."

"But we love each other, Nicholas, we can get through anything!"

"That's just it, Janine. I _don't_ love you. I was hoping I wouldn't have to spell it out, but... I just don't love you any more." Now Janine was silent. She could hear Nick's breathing, slightly heavy from the exertion of such a difficult conversation. She frowned as his words sunk in. This was not how this was supposed to go. Nicholas was supposed to be madly in love with her, desperate to rush back to London to be with her. They were going to be the newest, hottest celebrity couple. She had accepted several joint invites to swanky parties and film premières, as word had got out that the exceptional Inspector Angel had a girlfriend he had been forced to leave behind for the job. She had even been interviewed by the London Evening Standard talking about how her love for the 'hero cop' had strengthened over the distance between London and Sandford, and how happy she was that they would soon be reunited. Her initial shock at Nicholas' declaration was quickly replaced by anger.

"How dare you." She growled. "You've strung me along all this time, left me waiting at home for you and you never had any intention of coming back!"

"W... What? I was transferred! Permanently! Which wasn't my choice! And we broke up! You were sleeping with Bob!"

"It was David! And don't change the subject, you bastard! There's someone else, isn't there? You've been cheating on me with some fat, thick, country girl, haven't you?"

"Definitely not!"

"Who is she?"

"There is no... she." Nicholas winced and reddened. Thank Christ it wasn't videophone.

"There is! I can tell! I know when you're lying, Nicholas Angel, I know you!" Nicholas took a deep breath, enough was enough.

"Actually, you don't. You never knew me before, and you certainly don't know me now. All you ever wanted to do was change me, you wanted to turn me into what _you_ wanted. Well I _have_ changed, for your information. And not for you, for myself. And because I've finally found somewhere I can be happy and I've finally found someone I can just be myself with..."

"I knew it!"

"Shut up, Janine, you don't know anything about me any more. I've found someone I love more than anything else on this planet and he loves me for who I am, not as a trophy he can parade around to impress people with!"

"He?!"

"Goodbye, Janine." Nicholas replaced the receiver with a shaking hand. He needed to see Danny. Right now. He had to talk to him and tell him how he felt. Then everything would be fine, at least he hoped it would, if what Doris had said was true. The phone rang again. Nicholas stood up, walked round the desk and ripped the phone cord out of the wall with a jerk. He grabbed his car keys, mobile phone and hat off the desk and his jacket from the back of the chair. He hit dial on Danny's number as he put the jacket on one arm, holding the phone between his cheek and shoulder. It rang out as he left the office. Doris looked up as he emerged and smiled at him. He half nodded, pointing at the phone to indicate he couldn't talk as he slipped his other arm into his jacket. Danny wasn't answering. Jacket on, Nicholas took the phone from where it was clamped against his face and cancelled the call, frowning at the screen. No missed calls, no texts, nothing. It was 4pm and Danny hadn't been in touch all day, not on his mobile at least.

"Doris, I'm going home, Danny hasn't tried to call, has he?"

"No sir, I'd have put 'im straight thru'."

"Of course you would. I'm sure he's fine. Goodbye, then."

"Goodbye, Sir."

As Nicholas left the temporary police station, he pictured what Danny would be doing now. Probably watching one of his action films, mouthing all the words perfectly along with the actors. He had said something this morning while Nicholas had been reading the paper about watching all the Lethal Weapons back to back. Nicholas smiled as he thought of him. Kind, loyal, lovely Danny. His Danny, at least he hoped he would be. The issue of what exactly to say to Danny was one which had troubled Nicholas all day and as yet remained unresolved. He had even found himself trying parts of speeches he had devised out loud at his desk. Invariably, he trailed off after barely a sentence, groaning at how corny it sounded, or because he was just too plain embarrassed to truly express himself. I am such a dick, he thought. I'm so spectacularly anal I can quote the entire contents of The Police Service Official Vocabulary Guidelines. Can I find a way to tell the most important person in my life that I love him? Can I fuck. I'll just be honest, the right words will come to me when I see him, he reassured himself. At the prospect of seeing Danny, he felt a thrill of excitement that was so alien and distracting he almost drove off the road. Focus, Angel, he silently ordered.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N - Bit of angst now, I'm afraid, as Nicholas gets a shock when he goes to tell Danny how he feels about him. Oh and a cameo from an original character, Josie. Still haven't found a way to get possession of Nicholas Angel :(

Chapter 8

Nicholas drew up outside Danny's house, his heart thrashing about in his chest and his palms sweaty on the steering wheel. The combination of nervous fear and hopeful excitement at what he was about to do was a heady one. He forced himself not to rush as he exited his police car and made sure to lock it up securely.

"Good afternoon, Inspector Angel." Called Danny's next door neighbour, Josie, from her front garden. Josie was a pretty young woman who had been brought in to take Simon Skinner's place as manager of the newly refurbished Somerfield supermarket. Nicholas clenched his teeth momentarily before forcing a smile.

"Hello, Josie." He replied politely, making his way through Danny's front gate, hoping that his continued movement might indicate that he was not inviting conversation. She did not take the hint.

"It's so nice to see you, Nicholas. Can I call you Nicholas?"

"Err... yes, of course. But I must..."

"Great. I just wondered, actually, if you'd like to join me, you know, for a drink maybe sometime?" The fact that he was being asked out on a date did not occur to Nicholas as he continued sidestepping down Danny's path towards the front door.

"Sounds great." He replied vaguely. "I can't stop and chat I'm terribly sorry, I'm in a bit of a rush right now."

"Of course, I'll give you a call tomorrow at the station." Josie smiled delightedly, much to Nicholas' confusion. He finally reached the front door, shoved his key in the lock, took a deep breath and let himself in.

Almost before he was inside, he knew there was something wrong. One of the later Lethal Weapons was blaring out of the TV and Danny was not in place on the sofa. He would definitely have paused it if he had to leave the room. Nicholas hurried into the kitchen, tripping over a pair of Danny's shoes on the way. Popcorn maker, popcorn in a bowl, bottle of Coke left out of the fridge, mess. But no Danny.

"Danny?" He called. Silence. "Danny!" He couldn't have gone out, could he? He wasn't well enough. Nicholas sprinted back out into the lounge, past the sofa and out of the door into the back hallway. Adrenaline spiked through his body as he saw one of Danny's crutches poking out of the door to the downstairs bathroom. As he reached the doorway, he felt a violent lurch of nausea. Danny was lying on the floor of the bathroom, still, pale and utterly lifeless. Blood stained the front of his T shirt and the small pool he lay in was dried and dark, almost black. Nicholas was so horrified that for half a second he just stared at him, then leapt into action. He knelt beside Danny, pulling his mobile out of his pocket and hitting nine three times. As the call connected, Nicholas leant over him, checking for any sign that he was still breathing. He thought he could detect the slightest warmth of breath on his cheek.

"Emergency services, which service do you require?" The operator asked.

"Ambulance. To 69, Canal Street, Sandford."

"Thank you, Sir, the ambulance is on its way, ok? Can you tell me the nature of the emergency, please?"

"My friend, he's... he's sort of collapsed." Nicholas stammered, scanning up and down Danny's body, assessing him for injury.

"Ok, Sir, can you tell me his name?"

"Shit, sorry." Nicholas' training finally kicked in. "Male, 34 years old, Police Sergeant Daniel Butterman. Released from Buford Abbey hospital yesterday morning after surgery for a gun shot wound to the stomach and effects of being in the vicinity of the explosion of a sea mine. He's unconscious but I think he is breathing."

"Right," Nicholas could hear the operator typing furiously at the other end of the line.

"How long will the ambulance be? I don't know how long he's been like this!"

"About twenty minutes, Sir, the nearest unit is coming from the other side of Buford Abbey."

"Twenty minutes! He's bleeding! He's...barely breathing! Look, I'll bring him myself! I'm a police officer, I'll bring him in a squad car."

"Sir, that's not a good..."

Nicholas ended the call and put the phone in his pocket. He hooked his hands under Danny's armpits and dragged him out of the bathroom, down the hall and through the lounge to the front door. Nicholas was incredibly fit, but Danny was a big guy and the exertion of moving him was already making Nicholas breath hard. He would definitely need help getting Danny into his car. He ripped open the front door.

"Josie!" He yelled, running outside. Josie was still in her front garden, pruning roses. She looked up in surprise at Nicholas' sudden entrance. "I need help! It's Danny!" Josie ran down her path and out of the gate, entering Danny's gate and joining Nicholas at the front door.

"Help me get him into my car!" Nicholas ordered. He grabbed his car keys out of his pocket and pressed the remote to unlock the car. Josie just stared at the dark red stain on Danny's T shirt, rooted to the spot.

"Grab his legs, come on!" Nick yelled. She jolted into action and as Nicholas lifted Danny's upper body again, Josie lifted his legs by holding a trouser leg in each hand. It was in this rather undignified fashion that they got Danny to, and into, the passenger seat of the car. Nicholas ran back round to the driver's side and jumped in. He pulled Danny's seatbelt across his prone body and clicked it into place. Then the super charged engine roared into life and Nicholas was gone in a cloud of dust, sirens and blue flashing lights before Josie had managed to say a single word.

As Nicholas' police car hurtled through the quiet streets of Sandford, other vehicles and pedestrians scattered from his path. Nicholas glanced across at Danny and saw he was still unconscious, fresh wet blood now seeping from the wound on his stomach.

"Shit!" Nicholas said through his teeth in frustration. Reaching across to him, he pressed his left hand onto the wound, steering with his right. Blood immediately starting seeping through between his fingers.

"Just hold on, Danny. Hold on!" He ordered desperately. "We're almost there!

You're going to be all right! Just hold on!"

Less than ten minutes later, Nicholas' car hurtled into the hospital car park, sirens blaring, screamed up to the ambulance only parking area by the accident and emergency doors and screeched to a halt. Nicholas jumped out and ran in through the automatic doors yelling for help. Paramedics and doctors rushed up, Danny was transferred to a trolley and brought inside, Nicholas running beside him, blurting what little information he had at the doctors.

"His name's Danny. Police Sergeant Danny Butterman, He's 28. I don't know what happened to him. Well, he was shot, but over three weeks ago now."

Danny was taken into a room where a team of doctors started working on him. Huge needles administered drugs into his arms and nurses rushed in with packages of medical supplies. Nicholas stood helplessly outside the door looking in, his face pale with a violent red smear across his cheek. His hands were covered in Danny's blood, vivid blotches marred the crisp whiteness of his shirt, it was even in his hair. Now the adrenaline was subsiding, the full horror of what was happening was beginning to occur to him. What was wrong with Danny? How long had he laid on the floor alone, and in pain, before finally losing consciousness? Had he been stuck there in agony for hours, desperately hoping Nicholas would come home soon? The thought of it made Nicholas suddenly freezing cold and induced a violent urge to vomit. He swallowed hard, fighting to control his breathing and calm himself down. He couldn't stop the sickening guilt rising through him though. He had told Danny everything would be fine after the bomb blast. He had stayed with him every night in hospital. He had brought him home and looked after him. But then he'd left him alone too soon and whatever this was had happened, and it killed Nicholas that he hadn't been there for him.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N Sorry this has taken a while! I've been really busy writing original stuff as inspiration on my current novel has finally been flowing so had to take advantage of it! Still would love some alone time with Nick Angel, still don't own him so I'll just keep dreaming...

Chapter 9

Nicholas waited outside Danny's room for what seemed like hours. He paced repeatedly across the corridor, he sat down on a plastic chair for a while, he stood watching Danny through the window, he called Doris at the station to let her know what had happened. He waited and watched and paced and panicked, feeling utterly powerless as the doctors swarmed around Danny. Doris and both the Andys arrived after about forty minutes. Doris hugged Nicholas as soon as she saw him. He could not return her embrace. He just kept staring blankly at Danny through the window of his room.

"Nick, he'll be fine, you know. He's just bein' a drama queen" Detective Constable Andy Cartwright offered gently. "Do you know what happened?"

Nicholas just shook his head, not taking his eyes off Danny.

Finally, the frantic activity around Danny's bed was starting to subside. One of the doctors came out of his room, stripping off latex gloves, and approached Nicholas.

"How is he? What's happening?" Nicholas demanded.

"I'm Dr. Flynn. We've stabilised him but his condition is critical. I need some information from you. First of all, who are you?"

"Police Inspector Nicholas Angel."

"And how do you know the patient? Are you family?"

"Yes. I mean, I'm his... boss, but I'm his emergency contact too though, his parents... aren't around." Nicholas stuttered. Detective Inspector Andy Wainwright raised an eyebrow at Cartwright.

"Right. Well, we're not sure exactly what happened as yet. He seems to be bleeding internally."

"What, right now?"

"It's still unclear, he's improving but we're going to need to get him into theatre. He has lost a lot of blood."

"Do you need blood?" Nicholas was ripping up his sleeve. "Give him my blood!"

"Sir, that's not the issue."

"We're the same type, I know!"

"It's all right, Sir, we have plenty of blood. Did you bring him in here?"

"Yes."

"Do you know if he took anything? Painkillers? Maybe something stronger?"

"What!" Nicholas snapped incredulously.

"We can help him better if we know what he took?"

"He didn't take anything! Well, only the stuff he's been prescribed! What are you talking about?"

"You don't think he did this himself? Has he seemed depressed or troubled recently?"

Nicholas took an angry stride forward.

"Am I the only sane person here? No! He didn't do it himself! What the Fuck!"

"Hey! Ok, calm down!" Dr. Flynn raised a hand, palm outward at Nicholas who ignored it and marched right up to him.

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down! He's dying in there!"

"And we are trying to help him, Sir. We just need some more information."

"Well I don't have any!" Nicholas gasped for breath and his eyes blurred with moisture as he continued. "I found him lying on the fucking floor! I thought he was dead! Stop wasting time talking to me and do something!" Nicholas was shouting right into the doctors face by now. The nurse was reaching for the phone to call security.

"He's lost it! Grab him!" Andy Wainwright ordered his namesake.

"Come here, Nicholas." Andy Cartwright grabbed Nicholas by the shoulders and started dragging him backwards.

"Get off me!" Nicholas yelled, struggling. He broke free of Andy's hold, swung round and tried to punch him in the face. The other Andy grabbed his arm and twisted it up his back.

"Nicholas! Nicholas, it's all right!" Andy Cartwright was holding his hands out in front of him half defensively. "We're on your side, ok? We'll sort this out. Just calm down." Nicholas' struggling against Andy Wainwright slowed down. His anger was dissolving into its constituent parts, fear and desperation.

"How exactly are you going to sort it out?" Tears were breaking out of his eyes now. "Did you see him, Andy? He's a fucking mess." Nicholas' voice broke then and he started sobbing, properly sobbing. Andy Wainwright released Nicholas' arm and Cartwright pulled him into a hug. He held a hand up in apology to the doctor behind Nicholas' back, who nodded in acceptance of it. Then he turned so he was beside Nicholas, one arm wrapped round his shoulders and started to guide him away.

"Let's just get a drink or somethin'" He pacified. Nicholas was crying uncontrollably. Andy had never seen him so emotional, so furious and so desperate. The only time his anger had even come close to this was when he had lost it at the station because no one would believe him that Lesley Tiller and all the others were murders and not accidents. Andy knew Nicholas was wound pretty tight, but he had definitely underestimated the strength of his feelings for Danny.

"Everything's going to be all right." He murmured into Nicholas' ear as he manoeuvred him into a chair in a waiting room down the corridor. It was quiet here, just a couple of other people stared curiously at him crying unashamedly. Andy Cartwright crouched in front of a sobbing Nicholas, one hand on his shoulder. Nicholas was bent forward in the chair, his face in his hands. He was quieter now though, sucking in gulps of air less frequently than before. Andy glanced about him, searching for a vending machine. His eyes met the disapproving glare of an older man, whose look of disgust Andy was fairly sure was motivated by homophobic assumptions. Andy flicked him the middle finger and he looked away. Spotting a hot drink vending machine out in the corridor, Andy took hold of Nicholas' other shoulder and eased him upright so he could look at him.

"I'm going to get you a hot drink, Nicholas. I think you're in shock." Nicholas just looked back at him, his eyes red and still overflowing. "Sit tight for a minute, ok? I'll be right back." Andy squeezed Nick's shoulders reassuringly, stood and headed over to the vending machine.

Back down the corridor outside Danny's cubicle, Andy Wainwright was talking to the doctor, trying to unravel what had happened, what the current situation was and most importantly, get hold of an accurate prognosis on Danny's condition. Doris Thatcher was standing with Andy, desperately trying to hold it together, but the odd tear was stubbornly tracking down her face. When the doctor left, having given assurances that they were doing everything they could, Andy glanced over at her. Seeing her tears, he didn't say anything, simply reached out a hand and touched her arm. He wasn't as expressive a man as Cartwright, either verbally or physically. But this rare moment of sensitivity was an offer of comfort if she needed it. Doris found she did and moved into his arms without a word. Her wrapped her up and held her against him as her body shook with sobs.

Andy Cartwright returned to Nicholas with a cup of tea into which he had dumped four sugars. He sat beside him and handed him the cup. Nicholas just stared into the steaming liquid for a minute or two. Andy placed a hand on his back and rubbed slowly up and down his spine, just as much to piss off the guy watching them as to provide Nicholas with the comfort of physical contact. After a while Nicholas straightened up and took a sip of the tea, then instantly spurted it back out of his mouth in disgust.

"Bloody hell! How much sugar did you put in this?"

"Sweet tea's good for shock int it." Andy said quietly, soothingly. Nicholas was too exhausted to argue further, shrugged and took a large gulp. Funnily enough, it did seem to make him feel better. By the time he got to the bottom of the cup, he had realised what a spectacle he'd made of himself though and his cheeks burned with a blush.

"Sorry, Andy... about trying to hit you back there." He mumbled. Andy's heart ached a little more on Nicholas' behalf.

"Don't be daft, as if I'd a' let you land a punch on me." He joked quietly. Then more seriously, seeing how embarrassed Nicholas was, he added, "Don't worry about anything, it's cool."

Nicholas nodded his appreciation at this comment.

"Do you want to go back and see what's going on yet? Or we can stay here as long as you like." Andy asked gently. Nicholas was suddenly aware of how uncharacteristically lovely Andy was being with him. This realisation unnerved him as he was fairly sure neither Andy would be so sensitive unless they thought the situation with Danny was truly horrendous.

"Yes, let's go back. Thank you, Andy." Andy waved his thanks away and pulled him to his feet. As they headed off down the corridor, Andy shot one last aggressive glance at the disapproving guy who once more looked away hurriedly.

"Fucking coward." Andy muttered under his breath.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N This one's for Sarah, thank you so much for your lovely reviews, they're much appreciated (I tried to reply on Fanfic but it wouldn't let me). It's awesome to know you're enjoying my story, here's some more Nicholas angst for your pleasure :)

Chapter 10

Groundhog Day. Deja vu. Nicholas was trapped in the same nightmare that he endured the first time Danny was in hospital. He had brought Danny to Buford Abbey General on Friday evening and it was now mid morning of the following day. When Danny had eventually gone in for surgery, he was in there for five hours. It was discovered that he had most probably fallen somehow, which had damaged the healing tissue of the catastrophic bullet wound he had sustained when he jumped in front of Tom Weaver's gun to save Nicholas. He had been bleeding internally and, once the pressure in his abdominal cavity had built up, externally as well. He had also hit his head in the fall and been unconscious for an indeterminate amount of time. The doctors had plenty to keep them busy putting Danny back together again, but when they emerged, Nicholas was told the operations had all been a success. When Danny was returned to his room the next morning, he was still unconscious and Nicholas was not allowed to go in to see him. Dr. Flynn assured Nicholas that Danny was not in a coma, but that he was still heavily sedated after the operations and would wake up 'in due course'. Still Nicholas could do nothing. Couldn't get near Danny, couldn't hold his hand, couldn't even talk to him to let him know he wasn't alone.

When Danny had gone into theatre, Doris and the Andys had offered to stay with Nicholas, or take it in shifts overnight to wait for news so he could get some rest. He predictably refused to leave the hospital and they had reluctantly gone home themselves when he insisted he wanted to be alone. And so here he was by himself. Being alone was no easier though. Nicholas felt utterly useless. He was accustomed to being so sure of himself, knowing exactly what to do in the most difficult of situations and, above all, he relished being in control. In this situation, however, he felt wholly incompetent, a feeling which frustrated him to the point of rage. He jealously watched as nurses and doctors went in and out of Danny's room, adjusting things, talking to each other and writing notes on his chart. Nicholas physically ached to be near Danny. He was stunned by how much he felt he needed to touch him, to look at him and see him looking back. He wanted to see him smile, hear him talk about Point Break and listen to him recounting their gunfight with the NWA, vastly exaggerated and with greater enthusiasm each time, to anyone who would listen. The full force of his physical feelings for Danny were terrifying him too. He didn't understand how he could feel like this. Danny was a man. Nicholas was straight. And he knew what he felt was much more than the platonic love of a friend. Worst of all, was the abject terror that Danny might not recover from this, despite the doctors' reassurances. This concept was literally too horrendous for Nicholas to fully contemplate. But it stubbornly flitted around at the edges of his consciousness, refusing to allow him rest, let alone sleep. He couldn't eat, or even drink. He was in a constant state of nausea, which had even forced him to run to the hospital toilets to vomit at one point. These visceral emotions had spent the entire night churning and colliding violently inside Nicholas' head. He had kept it all trapped inside, expressing himself to no one, and the result was a Nicholas who was angry, scared and very difficult to deal with.

"Hello, Nick." Andy Cartwright greeted him cheerfully as he came down the corridor that morning. He was carrying a coffee in each hand. Nicholas regarded him with what could politely be termed disinterest.

"Got you a coffee, seein' as you been 'ere all night, fort you might need it."

"I don't want it."

"Come on Nicholas. I bet you haven't had anythin' all night."

"Are the others here?"

"It's just me. We knew you was gonna be in a foul mood so we drew straws. I lost." Nicholas didn't react. "That were a joke, Nick." Still no response. "The others are coming later, one at a time like, so we can still man the station."

"That's really not necessary." Nicholas snapped.

"What, manning the station?" Andy quipped. "Blimey, I'll let 'em all know they can 'ave the day off then, shall I?"

"Why are you making jokes? This isn't fucking funny!" Andy's jovial facade dropped off his face.

"Sorry, Nick. I..."

"None of you need to come here! Just leave me alone, I'm perfectly all right!"

"Look, Nick..."

"Don't call me that!"

"What?"

"That! Nick! My name's Nicholas!"

"Sorry! All right? Jesus Christ!"

"Fuck off, Andy!"

Andy opened his mouth to reply in kind, then stopped himself. Nicholas' aggressive expression couldn't hide the fear in his eyes. Andy suddenly realised how petrified he was that Danny wasn't going to recover. He took a breath and left a few seconds silence to allow the testosterone between them to dissipate.

"Ok, Nicholas." He soothed. "I'm sorry. I came 'ere to check you're all right. And before you say anythin', I know you're not all right. I know you won't be all right until Danny walks out of 'ere good as new. But until then... I'm 'ere, ok? Just didn't want you thinking you were alone, is all."

Nicholas stayed silent but the anger was fading. "Now, stop bein' a twat, sit down and 'ave some coffee." Nicholas sighed, glanced behind him to check the location of his chair and sat down. Andy sat beside him and offered the coffee again, which Nicholas took.

"Talk to me."

Nicholas squeezed his eyes tight shut and rubbed across his eyelids with the finger and thumb of his free hand.

"I don't know what to tell you." Andy waited, allowing him some time to organise his thoughts. "This is the single most painful experience of my life." Nicholas started morosely. "This is killing me. That's such a pathetic phrase, it doesn't even come close to describing how shit I feel." Another pause. More thinking time. "I WISH it was me in there. I want to make him ok again so much and I can't do a fucking thing to help him." Andy offered him more astute silence. "He did this for me. I'm the reason he's in here. It's like I'm the one who shot him." Maybe it was dehydration, but Andy was shocked that Nicholas managed all this without his eyes even getting wet. His voice was steady and quiet. He had the resigned air of a broken man. Andy definitely preferred the fighty, aggressive Nicholas of the previous evening who had at least seemed determined that Danny was going to get out of this alive.

"Listen, Nicholas, the doctors said he's goin' to be fine, right?" There was no response. "Well they know what they're on about, don't they? They said he's going to be fine and he will be."

"Nice to hear someone thinks we're competent." Dr. Flynn had appeared from Danny's room. "And he's right, Inspector Angel, Danny will be fine. He's waking up now and I know you wanted to be told when that was happening. You must be calm and quiet, but you can go in to see him if you like." Dr. Flynn was smiling at Nicholas, who was looking back at him wide-eyed.

"He's... He's ok? Danny? He's all right?"

"Yes, he is. He's very sleepy still but do you want to see him?"

Ye...Yes, of course I do. I...Thank you, thank you so much."

Nicholas stood, passed his untouched coffee back to Andy and hurried past Dr. Flynn, finally stepping through the sacred doorway into Danny's room. He approached the bed and as he got closer, he saw Danny was groggily trying to open his eyes. He didn't appear to have full control of his facial muscles yet though, and he could only hold them open for about a second at a time. Nicholas got to his side in time to hear Danny murmur his name, frowning. He gently placed a hand on Danny's forearm.

"It's ok, it's me." He murmured softly.

Danny's frown disappeared and his eyes struggled open again, looking in the direction of Nicholas' voice. When Nicholas saw Danny's eyes looking back at him, his own vision finally blurred with saltiness again. He stroked his thumb across the warm skin of Danny's forearm. The relief of touching him and seeing him alive and responsive was completely overwhelming. Suddenly, Nicholas felt all the crippling exhaustion, thirst and hunger he had been repressing. And he had never felt happier. He slowly smiled at Danny, his first proper smile since he had left him after breakfast the previous morning. The gentle, warm, beautiful, secret smile he didn't realise that he used only for Danny. It was what happened when his heart and his body and his whole being thrilled with happiness simultaneously. There had never been anyone else who could elicit such a smile from Nicholas. Danny saw it just before his drugged eyes slid shut against his will but he just managed to make his own lips curve upwards slightly.

"Can't keep me eyes open. Need to sleep." He croaked. Nicholas placed his other hand on Danny's head and stroked his fingers tenderly through his hair. Then, following his instinct, he leaned down and hesitantly touched his lips to Danny's forehead before whispering to him.

"It's all right, Danny. I'll be here when you wake up, I promise."


	11. Chapter 11 The declaration

**Chapter 11**

**The Declaration**

Nicholas was true to his promise. He stayed beside Danny's bed all day, spending hours just watching his chest rise and fall as he slept. He felt compelled to observe him constantly, in order to reassure himself that Danny was really alive. And he did a lot of thinking. Unsurprisingly, he thought of nothing that was not connected in some way to Danny. He smiled to himself as he recalled conversations they had had over a pint in The Crown. He frowned when his mind replayed them arguing in the churchyard after Tim Messenger's death. And he tried to analyse the moments when he had felt the rushes of affection for Danny which had caused him so much confusion. It was difficult to pinpoint any single instance as the most significant with any accuracy but there were several moments Nicholas particularly remembered. Seeing Danny reading the Police Service Official Vocabulary Guidelines, in an attempt to emulate Nicholas' knowledge. Danny asking him why he wanted to be a 'policeman-officer'. Danny trying to help him switch off by introducing him to action movies. Danny jumping in the path of a bullet for him. Of course the latter was the most significant action. But there had been no single moment of clarity when Nicholas realised how he felt about Danny. Instead, there had been a gradual and unstoppable building of regard and respect. The fact that Danny had saved his life on more than one occasion, and joined forces with him to fight the NWA and his own father, were not inconsiderable in the development of Nicholas' feelings for him either.

However, it was the rare touches they shared that fuelled his undeniable physical desire for Danny. He remembered feeling a drink dulled thrill when he felt Danny's hand on the back of his neck as they walked away from George Merchant's mansion the night it was blown up. And later that night, Nicholas found that he felt completely comfortable waking with his head on Danny's shoulder after they had fallen asleep on the sofa together. These were simple gestures and platonic moments of intimacy that, at the time, Nicholas was shocked to find so enjoyable. It surprised him even more to realise that he had been hoping opportunities for further physical contact would occur between them ever since. His natural regard for protocol had stifled this instinct though, and he had buried his desire. Until, that is, the prospect of losing Danny had punctured the place it was hidden such that he could no longer conceal it.

So it was a few days later, when Danny was in a recovery suite, and able to stay awake and hold a proper conversation, that Nicholas judged as good a time as any to tell Danny how he felt. Unfortunately, and despite all the thinking time, he was still unsure exactly how he was going to do this even as he began.

"Danny, there's something I need to talk to you about. I was going to talk to you when I got home last Friday and then I found you after you'd fallen and..." His speech trailed off awkwardly. Danny looked up at him expectedly, an unassuming smile on his face. There was a silence.

"Spit it out then."

Nicholas swallowed hard and felt himself blush. He had never before felt so out of his depth at the prospect of a simple conversation. Except this was anything but simple. He scrambled to organise his thoughts into some kind of order.

"Ok. Listen." He breathed out heavily. Danny's expression switched to a frown.

"Are you upset wiv me? Did I do somefink wrong?"

"No, no, no, nothing like that." Nicholas urged. He knew then he just had to get on with it. Typical, sweet Danny to think he was at fault.

"When I found you collapsed, I thought you were... I mean, I thought I wasn't going to get a chance to... shit, I'm crap at this!"

"Nicholas, it's fine, you don't 'ave to..."

"Shut up, Danny! I need to say this!" He grabbed a breath. "I'm a complete idiot, ok? I tried to deny it, I thought... I mean, we're friends! Partners! I'm your superior officer, for Christ's sake! I shouldn't be saying this!"

Danny looked bemused. "Err, what are you sayin', exactly?"

"I'm saying that when I found you on the floor the other day, I finally realised that all that matters to me is that you're all right!" Full sentences were finally coming to him.

I haven't been able to do anything else for days but wait here for you to wake up! I was desperate to help you, and I couldn't! I've been an absolute bastard to everyone because all I care about is you."

Danny's expression was split between confusion and wonder.

"All I wanted to do was keep you safe! And I made a shit job of that, didn't I?" Nicholas was pacing up and down along the length of Danny's bed, warming to his task now. "I'm sorry. I made a horrific mistake forgetting about Weaver and then you went and jumped in front of his gun!"

"It weren't your fault, Nicholas."

"Yes, Danny, it was! I was in command! I'm so sorry you did that, and I'm even more sorry that it was to save me! I didn't deserve it! But now I'm going to do everything I can to help you. Starting with taking you home and looking after you, properly this time. I swear I'm not going to let you out of my sight."

"You don't 'ave to do that, the doc said I could stay 'ere."

"The doctor also said you could go home if there was someone with you. And that is going to be me."

"I don't wanna be in your way..." Danny mumbled.

"What? You're not in the way!" Nicholas looked pained at the suggestion.

"You've got work and..."

"Have you been listening to a single word I've said? I don't care about work!" Although Nicholas' voice was raised, Danny seemed unable to believe that he could mean such a thing.

"But work's all you've ever cared about."

"Not any more! Not compared to you!"

"Bollocks, Nicholas, that don't make sense."

"Of course it does!"

"Why?"

"Because I love you, you daft twat!"

An intense silence, during which neither of them were aware of anything but each other, magnified Nicholas' words. He stared at Danny, breathing hard, desperate for any sort of response. Danny's face was frozen in open mouthed shock that would have been comedic in any other circumstances.

"This is a dream, int it?" He breathed finally.

"No, Danny."

"Can you say that again, then?"

"I love you, you daft twat."

Nicholas flashed one of his rare, spectacular smiles, ecstatic at the release of finally expressing his feelings. It took Danny's brain several seconds to catch up with what was happening and instruct his face to react. Then his shocked expression morphed into a slightly awestruck smile of his own.

"Me an' all." He said, so faint it was almost inaudible.

Nick released a breath of tense laughter.

"That all you got?"

Then Danny grinned cheekily, his humour returning.

"Come on, I'm ahead of you, aren't I?"

Nicholas was still smiling back, then he abruptly frowned, cocking his head on one side.

"Actually you're not. Because I just said it twice. And without the assistance of pharmaceuticals for that matter."

Danny's smile dropped and instead he looked embarrassed, licking his lips nervously.

"Can't believe you're gonna make me say this." Then he shot Nicholas the briefest of glances, shyness and joy evident in equal measure in his expression. He looked down at his hands, blushing furiously.

"I love you too, Nicholas... You bossy bastard."


	12. Chapter 12 Physicality

A/N Thanks for the lovely reviews and story favourites, guys. Here's some yummy Nick/Danny smooching as a reward for waiting - sorry it's taken so long!

**Chapter 12**

**Physicality**

Twenty four hours later, Nicholas and Danny were sitting together on Danny's sofa, watching the credits from Die Hard 4.0 scroll past.

"That were good, weren't it?" Danny enthused. Nicholas yawned.

"Yes, it was very enjoyable. Time for bed now though, you need your sleep."

"Oh, Nicholas! I ain't tired!"

"That's because you've just been watching a film. You will be once you're in bed."

"Suppose." Danny shrugged. Nicholas stood up and held out his hands to Danny. He took them and Nicholas pulled him up off the sofa.

Then he handed him his crutches and started clearing away the pizza boxes they had been eating from. Danny stood waiting for him.

"You go on, I'll be a few minutes tidying up. Can you manage the stairs by yourself?"

"Yeah. I fink so." Nicholas' back was turned as he headed into the kitchen so he didn't see Danny's wounded expression before he shuffled off up the stairs awkwardly on his crutches. In truth, Nicholas was not entirely sure what should happen next. Should he stay in Danny's room? In Danny's bed? He certainly wanted to. He wanted to be close to him, able to help him if he needed anything and comfort him if he was in pain. He didn't want Danny to spend a single second alone. But he didn't want to smother him either. And he would hate for Danny to feel pressured into making their relationship physical.

Futhermore, as much as he wanted to be intimate with Danny, he was at a loss as to how to go about it. He was afraid of looking like an idiot because he didn't know what he was doing. He had no experience with men. He didn't know if Danny had any experience with men. He didn't know if Danny thought he had any experience with men. And more than anything he knew Danny just needed to rest after his release from hospital. Doctor Flynn had allowed Nicholas to take Danny home on the understanding that he was not left alone and that Nicholas could look after him well enough that he could enjoy complete rest. Nicholas had assured him that he could and had booked three weeks of leave in order to concentrate solely on caring for Danny. He notified Doris that he would not be in work at all during that time and he was not to be contacted under any circumstances. He left Sergeant Fisher in charge and turned off his work mobile phone.

For a man who had not taken a holiday for five years it showed serious commitment, the significance of which was not lost on Danny. He was confused, and a little upset, therefore, that nothing physical had happened between him and Nicholas since the whole declaration of love thing in the hospital the previous morning. Several times, Danny had thought he must have dreamed it after all, as they hadn't spoken about it and Nicholas was acting as if nothing had happened. That was not to say he wasn't looking after Danny, he was. He was being attentive in the extreme, not letting Danny do anything that Nicholas could do for him. But his manner was the same as it always was, capable and caring, but in a platonic way. Now Danny was alone upstairs, about to get in bed, unsure whether Nick was going to spend the night on the sofa again like last time. All he wanted was to be near Nicholas. He felt safe when he was with him. His presence distracted Danny from the disturbing thoughts about the horrors his father had perpetrated.

Nicholas climbed the stairs to Danny's room and knocked hesitantly on the door, even though it was half open.

"Come in, Nick, you idiot, you don't 'ave to knock." Danny called as he emerged from the bathroom on his crutches. Nicholas stood just inside the doorway, shifting slightly from foot to foot.

"I, er, wasn't sure where I should sleep so I thought I'd better just ask you."

Danny continued his slow progress towards the bed and sat down, not looking at Nicholas.

"Where d'ya wanna sleep?"

"I don't mind. Wherever you want me to, you need to be comfortable." Nicholas was aching to tell Danny he wanted to sleep with him but was not willing to risk putting any pressure on him.

"Comfortable? Is that all that matters to you? You turned into some kinda doctor now an all?"

Nicholas frowned, sometimes Danny's moods were every bit as difficult to decipher as those of the women he had known.

"I'm sorry, I don't follow."

Danny huffed in exasperation.

"I fought we was, you know, together? After the hospital and everythin'."

"We are." Nick insisted earnestly.

"But... well... it's just nuffin's happened since then, 'as it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Jesus, Nicholas! Do I 'ave to spell it out?" Danny rolled his eyes in the pause that followed. "Fine! What I mean is, we 'aven't even kissed!" He said through gritted teeth.

"Oh! I... well, I wasn't sure if you... and I wasn't even really sure if I... I mean, I didn't really understand what was happening... I mean, I still don't exactly. You're a man and I... at least I never thought... you know."

Nicholas stumbled painfully through part sentences, woefully out of practice at expressing himself. He felt even worse when Danny looked offended.

"Right, I get it, you just don't fancy blokes! You can stop going on about it, it's embarrassin'!"

"That is not what I meant!"

"Well, what the 'ell do ya mean, then? And what did you mean by all that love stuff at the 'ospital?"

Nicholas crossed the room and sat on the bed beside Danny. He cautiously placed a hand on Danny's lower back, hoping he wanted physical contact.

"I'm sorry. I know I'm not making any sense, I'm just crap at explaining how I feel. And I didn't want to... pressure you. Listen, you're right, I don't fancy men. I never have. But you're different, somehow. I haven't felt like this before... about a man, I mean. Actually, I haven't felt like this about anyone before. You relax me, Danny. You make me feel calm, which I don't often feel normally. I need that, and I... I like it. I'm not pretending to be something else when I'm with you and all I want to do is be with you."

"That's amazing, Nicholas. But that's all emotional stuff. What about the, you know, physical stuff? You just don't fancy me, do you?"

"I do... fancy you." Nicholas winced and blushed at the choice of words. "I want to kiss you and touch you, believe me, it's physical! I'm just not sure how to... go about it. I don't want to do the wrong thing."

Danny's face softened, seeming to finally understand Nicholas' anxiety. He looked him steadily in the eye.

"Nothin' you'd do to me'd be wrong."

Nicholas swallowed hard under his intense gaze, unable to reply, his mind suddenly reeling with the things he would like to do to Danny. It was Danny who eventually broke the silence.

"Fuck it, just kiss me now then."

"What?"

"You heard! Or don't you want to?"

"Danny!"

"Gotta start somewhere, 'aven't we! So stop fuckin' about and kiss me!"

"All right!" Nicholas half laughed, looking down, burning with embarrassment. He cleared his throat. They both glanced at each other's mouths, breaths held. Nicholas' tongue slipped out to moisten his lower lip as their eyes locked together again. Then Nicholas very slowly leaned in towards Danny, tilting his head to the right and letting his gaze slide back down again to judge the distance between them. He shut his eyes as their lips came together. Danny tasted deliciously minty from his toothpaste, and his lips felt surprisingly soft. Even more surprising was the realisation that it didn't feel all that different from kissing a woman. It felt good. Nicholas pulled back slightly to take a breath. He looked back up at Danny.

"All right?"

"Ah hah." Danny nodded, his voice shaky. Nicholas went in again, more confidently this time, and parted his lips, easing open Danny's mouth. He felt him responding, tilting his head and tentatively matching the pressure of Nicholas' lips with his own. The awkwardness was slipping away and Nicholas felt both relaxed and a bit excited at the same time. He could not believe he had waited so long to kiss Danny. Or that he had tied himself in such knots over it. Now he was doing it, it felt exactly right. He shifted closer to him and put a hand up to Danny's face, steadying him as they kissed. The sharpness of Danny's late night stubble was rough against his palm, and he was finding the novelty of the sensation incredibly arousing. Nick repressed a groan, not wanting to show quite how stimulated he was, and kissed Danny harder. Feeling his self control slipping slightly away from him, he pulled back to grab a breath again and slow things down. He knew Danny was not well enough for anything more physical than kissing. If they took things any further tonight, Nicholas would feel as though he had taken advantage of him when he was vulnerable, a feeling he would never be able to live with. Danny, however, was showing no sign of wanting to cool things down, breathing fast, shifting closer to Nick, the exhilaration of the situation making his heart race.

"You are shit at explainin' how you feel, Nicholas. But you're fuckin' good at showin' it."

Nicholas smiled, a rush of male pride coursing through him.

"Plenty more where that came from."

"Good coz I were worried you was stoppin'."

"No, not stopping. Just slowing down a bit though, you still need to recover." Nicholas said firmly.

"Ok." Danny looked disappointed, but did not argue, automatically accepting Nicholas' authority.

"But we can keep doing this a bit longer if you want."

Danny nodded, smiling shyly again.

"Yes, please."

Nicholas gently pushed him back until he was lying on the bed. He moved to lie half beside him, half on top of his expansive chest. "This mean you're gonna sleep in here wiv me then?" Danny breathed.

"I think that is a safe assumption, yes." Nicholas answered, unable to hide a slight smirk at the deliberate formality of his phrasing. Being careful not to press down on his healing stomach wound, Nicholas leaned across Danny and flicked off the bedside light. In the darkness they kissed some more, calmer now and unhurried, gently exploring what made them feel good. And they talked, until Nicholas sensed Danny was struggling to stay awake, and trying to force himself to do so. He kissed him one last time.

"Go to sleep, Dan." He whispered. "I'm not going anywhere."


	13. Chapter 13 The Interim

**Chapter 13 **

**The Interim**

Nicholas and Danny spent the next three weeks together in splendid isolation. Nicholas did everything for Danny. He cooked all his meals (after convincing Doris to shop for them), did all his washing, cleaned and tidied his disorganised house and made sure he got out of it every day for some fresh air even if just to potter about in the garden. Throughout the entire time Nicholas spent looking after Danny, he never once went to the police station. He did not even turn on his work phone or check his emails. He was shocked to realise that he seemed to have no desire to check what was happening at work. This was partly because he finally had a team of officers to whom he trusted enough to delegate, and partly because he thoroughly enjoyed having Danny command all of his attention. Danny was making an excellent recovery too, getting stronger every day as the pain he suffered in his stomach gradually diminished. And he was ludicrously overjoyed that Nicholas was spending all his time with him. He still sometimes couldn't believe that someone like Nicholas loved him though, and he had a couple of embarrassing bouts of tearful self doubt that Nick had to soothe him through. Nicholas' ability to talk about his emotions improved somewhat, but he still usually resorted at least in part to kissing Danny and holding him to convince him of the strength of his feelings.

Nicholas was excellent, however, at discussing Danny's emotions. He listened patiently as Danny unloaded all his conflicted feelings about his father. He let him express his anger and anguish at everything the NWA had done, everything that Danny felt he had allowed to happen with his own blind incompetence. Then Nicholas carefully talked him out of blaming himself, always finding just the right thing to say to calm him. He felt so close to Danny when they talked like this, as though he truly understood him and could anticipate what he was thinking. Nicholas couldn't bear seeing Danny's unhappiness, and would put all his energy into consoling him every time he felt guilty, or angry, or sad. He reminded him that they had defeated the NWA together, and fervently insisted that he could not have done so without Danny's help. Nicholas' unconditional support and understanding were exactly what Danny needed as he refused to speak to anyone else about what had happened to him. Nick also gave him the physical comfort he craved, but was ashamed to ask for, thinking himself weak for needing Nicholas so much. Nothing more physical then kissing had happened between them though, despite Nicholas sharing his bed. Sleeping together had seemed perfectly natural after that first night, and Nick knew that night time was when Danny hated to be alone the most.

However, the lack of sexual progress was a fact which troubled them both but which they were each equally unwilling to confront. Danny was still afraid, despite all Nick's reassurances, that he was not attractive enough to him. Nicholas was afraid that, with his lack of experience with men, he would not be able to satisfy Danny. And he was uncomfortable about potentially pressuring Danny into what he presumed was his first physical relationship with a man when he was so emotionally vulnerable. It was clear to Nicholas that, although Danny was making excellent physical progress, it would take him much longer to mentally recover from his ordeal, and Nick was not going to rush him. What he did not realise, however, was that Danny was in fact desperate to take things further. Danny suspected it was the one thing that would finally quiet his feelings of inadequacy and self doubt. Being fully intimate with Nicholas would confirm to Danny that he was worthy of his love, and feeling secure in the knowledge that Nick loved him was the only thing that would make him completely happy. Strangely enough, It was the Andys who unwittingly brought this to Nicholas' attention.

As Danny's condition improved after a month spent recovering at home, Nicholas took him into work with him. He strictly controlled the tasks he was allowed to undertake, however, determined not to let him do too much too soon. He was also plagued by a completely irrational fear that Danny might get hurt again. So he gave him paperwork to do and would not let him out on patrol unless he was with him. In fact, it was a rare occurrence that Danny was out of his sight. Danny never complained, he was always happy to be with Nicholas, and as usual, accepted his decisions without question.

One Tuesday morning, Danny was sitting at Nicholas' desk, the only person allowed to do so, organising some paperwork into the correct files for him to sign off. Detective Sergeant Wainwright appeared in the open doorway.

"Chief... Oh, Danny. Where's the Chief?"

"He went to the evidence room, said he needed to check sommat."

"Oh, right. Can you do us a favour then an' come wi' me and Andy? We're takin' anuvva look at that attempted burglary scene, need you to talk us thru it."

"But I didn't do nuffin." Danny replied cagily. "It's Ni... the Inspector you want."

"We know the Chief chased the fella, but you were there too, weren't ya? Observin'? Probably got a clearer idea o' what happened, seen as you weren't involved physically, like."

Danny grasped for an excuse. He couldn't very well say that Nicholas had forbidden him to leave the station without him. "Come on then!" Wainwright urged, waving his arms expressively at him. Danny reluctantly followed him out through the squad room, where Cartwright joined them and they entered the stairwell. As they descended towards the ground floor, they were met by the sharp tapping of hurried footsteps that Danny knew belonged to Nicholas returning from the evidence room. At the sight of the three of them, jackets on, Nicholas froze, looking momentarily panicked. Then he snapped into commanding officer mode.

"What's going on here?"

"We're goin' to check out the attempted burglary." Wainwright said, moving past Nicholas on the stairs and completely failing to notice his hostility. Cartwright, as usual, was more astute.

"We would 'ave asked you, Chief, but you were busy. It's alright though, int it? We'll only be about a half hour."

"No, it is not all right! You two go by yourselves, you're the detectives. Danny, get back upstairs!" Danny didn't know whether to be embarrassed or, if he was honest, turned on by Nicholas ordering him about like that. He came down on the side of the latter as he had always secretly found the fact that Nicholas was in authority over him incredibly sexy. He definitely knew better than to argue though, whipped round and headed back up the stairs again. Wainwright also spun round, face screwed up in confusion.

"What's the problem?"

Cartwright eye-balled him pointedly which, for once, he noticed. "Sorry, Sir. I just meant... Is there a reason Danny can't come an' 'elp us?"

"Yes, there is." Nicholas' voice was dangerously calm.

"Well... do ya wanna share it wiv us?"

Cartwright closed his eyes in despair, awaiting the explosion.

"Certainly. BECAUSE I FUCKING SAID HE CAN'T! Any questions?"

"Nope." They replied in unison.

"Good."

Both detectives scarpered down the stairs, not realising their speech would still be audible to Nicholas as they headed towards the exit.

"Why can't you just be a bit more sensitive sometimes?" Cartwright complained. "Can't you see the Chief's worried about Danny?"

"Those two just need to get over themselves, have a fuck and be done wiv it!"

"Andy..."

"No! Come on, Andy! It's obvious they wanna bum each other! Why don't they just get on wiv it? Might calm the Chief down a bit for starters, and it's not like any of us is gonna mind, is it? And as for Danny! Maybe he'd act more like a proper police officer and less like a pet monkey if he thought the Chief was serious about 'im!"

The front door banged shut behind them causing Nicholas to flinch, both at the noise, and the searingly perceptive summary of the situation that Andy had just delivered. He squeezed his eyes tight shut in exasperation, made worse by the fact that he knew he was in the wrong. He shouldn't have yelled at Andy. He shouldn't be so ridiculously over protective of Danny. It was illogical, not something the methodical Nicholas Angel would ever have been accused of previously. But everything had changed since he'd revealed his feelings to Danny. And there was something about Danny that made Nicholas uncharacteristically illogical. The thought of Danny ever being hurt again was so horrific it made him feel homicidal. Andy's final blow reverberated around his head. Had he been stifling Danny's ability to be a police officer? Err... Yes. Had he even been unintentionally suffocating his self esteem and male pride by assuming that he needed Nicholas to protect him? Shit. Yes again. Could he drown the compulsion to take care of him though? Not sure. But he was definitely going to try, at least at work. Nicholas was suddenly embarrassed as he realised how obviously he had been controlling Danny. His behaviour, though rooted in a fierce love for him, had resulted in Danny feeling dependent on Nicholas, unable to function without him, and afraid of what would happen if he wasn't there. That had not been Nicholas' intention. He had never wanted to make Danny feel inferior to him. He wanted Danny to feel proud and confident in his abilities as a police officer, and to want to be with Nick rather than needing him. Could Andy be right that Danny would feel better if they had sex though? It didn't fully make sense to Nicholas. Surely Danny knew how he felt about him? Then again, his track record at conveying his emotions was pitiful and perhaps Danny's neediness in everyday life would diminish if he felt totally wanted by Nicholas in their personal life. Scary though it was, maybe the time had come to show Danny just how committed to him he really was.


	14. Sexuality

A/N Ok, here we go, Nick and Danny smut... FINALLY! M Rated!

Disclaimer: If you're offended by male homosexuality (and if so, why are you reading this story?) then DON'T read any further (Oh, and loosen up and get a life!) You have been warned.

For the final time, I don't own Nicholas Angel or Danny Butterman, they're just my play things for the duration of this story. Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright and Nick Frost, they're the geniuses :)

**Chapter 14**

**Sexuality**

Danny whistled softly in appreciation when Nicholas came in from the bathroom wearing only a pair of tight grey boxer shorts. His flat stomach rose out of them, blending to a chest that was muscled hard and covered with a smattering of golden blonde hair. He was in fantastic shape, his lowest ribs just visible above the ridges of his abdominal muscles. And his arms, though not huge, which would not have suited his slender frame in any case, boasted beautifully defined biceps and forearms. His legs were also finely sculpted with muscles developed by frequent running, and were covered with just the right amount of light coloured hair. He was magnificent, though he often secretly worried that his slightness made him appear effeminate, particularly when his muscles were concealed by clothing.

Immeasurably pleased by Danny's obvious admiration, Nicholas smirked cockily at him as he walked towards the bed, raising his eyebrows suggestively in an expression of rare playfulness. He felt a thrill of excitement as Danny's eyes, after travelling up and down his body, settled on the significant bulge in his boxers. He allowed himself to look at Danny's naked top half, emerging from the duvet covering him from the waist down, and felt a buzzing hot lust spreading from his stomach. Danny was physically big, which Nicholas liked. The chunky, powerful, manliness of him made Nicholas want to grab onto him, desperate to touch him. He knew Danny could feel self conscious about his size, but to Nicholas he possessed the appealingly solid physique of a rugby player, all the more evident now he was shirtless. As he admired Danny and Danny stared back at him, the sexual tension undeniable, Nicholas felt himself starting to harden in response to it. He sat down on his side of the bed, one leg tucked beneath him and looked sideways at Danny. He knew he was inadequate when it came to talking about his emotions but, for Danny, he wanted to try. He wanted him to know how much he was turned on by him.

"You look great with your top off, you know." He began, painfully aware of how lame that sounded. But Danny at least smiled, looking down and blushing. Nicholas searched for a way to improve on it and grasped the memory that had triggered the thought in the first place. "I mean it. I used to have to try really hard not to look at your body when we were getting changed in the locker room after work."

"Really?"

Nicholas was also blushing now, but pressed on regardless, encouraged by Danny's endearing expression of disbelief.

"Yeah. I was afraid I'd get a... hard on. Or you would see me looking and..."

"Shit!" Danny exclaimed. "I was just the same about you! If we'd just looked at each other..."

"Yes."

"Probably a good thing we didn't though."

"How so?"

"Not sure the locker room's the right place, really." Nicholas laughed. When it faded, there was an awkward silence. "Here's better though." Danny continued quietly. Nicholas looked at him.

"You mean..."

"Yeah. If you want to, that is..."

Nicholas cleared his throat, feeling wildly out of his comfort zone.

"I... I do. I just, I don't really know how to... get started." He fought the compulsion to run from the crippling embarrassment of the situation. "Do you?"

"Nah, not really." There was another awkward pause. "But... I mean... it's just me an' you int it? There really ain't no need to feel nervous."

"I don't feel nervous exactly. It's just..." Nicholas looked down. "I don't really know what to do, Danny. I feel... incompetent." The last word struggled out through gritted teeth. Nicholas, who prided himself on being highly competent in everything he did, was finding this severely distressing. Danny smiled gently at him.

"Look, Nicholas, just relax. It were like this before we kissed remember? And then once we did it, it were fine, weren't it?" Nicholas had to admit he had a point there and nodded his acknowledgement. "Reckon this'll be the same, eh?" Danny finished softly. In the silence that followed, Nicholas made a decision. He forced himself to ignore the awkwardness. He certainly wanted Danny and it seemed the feeling was mutual. However, he needed to be the one to make the first move. He suspected he would only be able to do this if he at least pretended to be in control. Hearing Danny being so tender and reassuring with him had been momentarily gratifying, but now Nicholas knew he had to take the lead.

"Right, let's start by kissing, then." He said as firmly as he could, swallowing his anxiety, his voice a bit husky. He shifted up the bed so he was kneeling beside Danny, and waited a beat, looking into his eyes. Then he took his face in both hands to kiss him, slowly at first, and gently controlling, the way he knew Danny loved. As soon as their lips connected, Nicholas felt instantly better. This, he was comfortable with. He knew he was a good kisser, and he had discovered exactly how to kiss Danny to get him all excited and needy, just the way Nicholas liked him. Danny predictably whimpered, shifting himself round to get closer to Nick without breaking the kiss. Nicholas moved down the bed, bringing Danny with him, kicking the duvet away to reveal Danny's lower half, also clad in boxers. Red ones. Nicholas kissed Danny's neck and shoulder and ran a hand over his chest, exploring his skin, the swell of his pectoral muscles and the nipples that hardened under his fingers. Danny's hand stroked down Nick's side and onto his hip, pulling his body closer, and urgently kissing him again. Nicholas groaned involuntarily into Danny's mouth as his erection strained painfully against the cotton of his underwear. Danny tentatively touched Nicholas through the thin material, now stretched even tighter over the increased length. He tugged at the waistband of Nick's boxers, silently asking his permission to remove them. Nicholas raised his hip off the bed and Danny eagerly shoved them down. Nick huffed out a breath of relief as he sprung free of the constraint. Danny stared for a few seconds, seeming somewhat awestruck by Nicholas' penis. When he delicately touched him for the first time, Nick shut his eyes tight and breathed in sharply, concentrating on the feel of Danny's warm hand wrapped around him.

"My, vot impressive veaponry you 'ave, Inspecteur Angel." Danny's James-Bond-villain Russian accent came out of nowhere. Nicholas half laughed, half grimaced, his face flushed bright red with yet another blush.

"Oh fuck, Danny please! Don't make jokes!"

"I can't 'elp eet." Danny began in the Russian voice again, then dropped it when he saw Nicholas' stricken expression. "Sorry. It's wot I do when I'm nervous."

"Oh come here, you big twat."

Needing to overcome his embarrassment by exerting sexual authority, Nick kissed him hard again, rolling him onto his back and covering his body with his own. Danny grabbed Nicholas' bum, pushing his stiffness against Nick's groin. He pressed himself up against him, trying to get as close as he could possibly get. Nick raised himself up on his hands over Danny, kissing him, then moving aside and supporting himself on one elbow. He slid his free hand down Danny's body and pushed his boxers over his hips, just far enough to release him.

"Take these off." Nicholas ordered, burning with lust as he watched Danny obey him. Nicholas pushed him on to his back again and lay on top of him, relishing the full body contact and the mind blowing sensation of their cocks brushing together. Nick had always loved being dominant in bed with women, and with Danny he was discovering it was no different. Fortunately, and perhaps because of his everyday comfort zone of being Nicholas' subordinate, it seemed Danny was just as aroused by Nick taking charge. He whimpered incomprehensibly, hopelessly turned on by Nick kissing him so forcefully, his head pressed back into the pillow.

"This is insane," Nicholas whispered between kisses. "You're making me act like a horny teenager again."

"Mmmm, I'm horny." Danny moaned. "I want you, Nicholas. Christ, I want you so much. I want you to... y'know... I want you to fuck me." Danny gasped breathlessly and snatched another quick kiss. Nicholas' commanding persona faltered slightly.

"Are you sure?" Their lips came together again at Danny's instigation.

"Yeah!"

"I want you too, Danny... You honestly have no idea how much!... But I don't want to hurt you." Nicholas had to practically hold him off so he could get the rest of his words out, constantly interrupted by Danny's frantic kisses. "I mean... I imagine it'll hurt but... if you can't... if it's too much... just tell me and I'll stop... I promise... At any point."

"I know!" _Kiss._ "I trust you!" _Kiss again._ "Stop talkin'!" Nicholas flashed a nervous grin.

"Y'got any..."

"Drawer!"

Nicholas sat up, straddling Danny's waist, to open the bedside drawer. He scrabbled around inside, chucking stuff out in a most un-Nicholas-like fashion until he found a tube of KY. He squirted a generous amount into his palm and wrapped his hand around his cock, rubbing up and down, covering himself with the lubricant. Danny was squirming about underneath him restlessly.

"Danny, hold still." Without preamble, he smeared some of the jelly onto Danny, who jumped at the sudden intimate contact and the coldness of the lube. Regretting his haste, Nicholas reminded himself to go slowly, leaned down to Danny and kissed him softly. Then he knelt between Danny's thighs again. "Sorry. Just lie back, try to relax." He said quietly as he squeezed out another dollop of lube and rubbed it between his palms to warm it this time. Trying to follow his instincts, Nicholas lightly stroked his slippery fingers over and around Danny's hole, getting him accustomed to being touched there. The tension in Danny's body dissipated somewhat and he let out the breath he had been holding. Nicholas smoothly pressed a little harder, circling with his fingertips, watching Danny, who sighed in response to him. So far, so good. Nicholas swallowed hard, still fighting the destructive thoughts telling him he had no idea what he was doing, and gently slipped his forefinger into Danny's hole. The lube meant it slid in easily, but it felt extremely tight as Danny instinctively tensed against the intrusion. Nicholas stroked his other hand comfortingly over Danny's thick thigh, leaned down and pressed kisses across his scarred stomach until he felt him relaxing again. Then he carefully introduced a second finger. Danny shut his eyes tight and sucked in a rapid breath.

"It's all right, just relax." Nick whispered, his soothing hand continuing to stroke over Danny's body. Nicholas was incredibly gentle with Danny, waiting until he had completely accepted his probing fingers before he very slowly slid them out and in, and then widened them to stretch Danny, preparing him. After several moments of this attention, during which Danny groaned almost constantly at the sensation, Nicholas judged him ready and removed his fingers. He positioned himself at Danny's entrance and gently rubbed the end of his cock across Danny's hole, spreading the lube again.

"Oh, fuck. Nick. Please."

He grinned briefly at Danny's begging, and slowly started to ease himself inside. Danny gasped for breath and could not help tensing as Nicholas pushed into him. About halfway, Danny threw his head to one side, hands grasping about him for something to hold on to. He blindly grabbed the sheet, ripping it out from under the mattress, teeth clenched. Nicholas paused, allowing him time to adjust to his size. Danny felt so tight though, that Nick wasn't sure he could get any further, and he was so hard himself, and being gripped so crushingly, that it was hurting Nick too.

"You all right?" Nicholas whispered.

"Ah... um... yeah... Hurts like fuck!" Danny whimpered.

"Sorry, babe. Try to relax. I won't go any further until you're ready, ok?"

"Uh huh." Danny's voice was unnaturally high.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No! No, I wanna do this. Just gimme a minute, I can deal wiv it."

"Ok. It's all right. There's no rush." Nicholas soothed. Danny had shut his eyes and was breathing deeply in an attempt to control the pain. Nicholas stroked his fingers over Danny's chest, through his hair, down his cheek. He kissed his neck, and then his lips. "It's all right." He whispered again. Finally, Nicholas felt him relaxing and the painful tightness easing. Danny opened his eyes.

"Ok, go on." He breathed. Nicholas edged forwards, slightly pulling back every few seconds to relieve the pressure, before pushing deeper into Danny again. This technique was more successful, and Nicholas groaned as he found himself buried completely inside Danny. He stilled again, giving him more time to fully accept him. Danny wrapped his arms around Nicholas, pressing him against his chest.

"Is that ok now?" Nick whispered, feeling himself blush hot again at the intimacy of being eye to eye in such a situation. Danny nodded, seemingly unable to speak. Nick wasn't sure how Danny would respond, or how it would feel for him, when he started to move, so he repeated his earlier reassurance.

"Remember, just tell me to stop if... you need to." Danny nodded vigorously. "Wha... Do you mean you want me to stop?"

"Fuck! No!" Danny urged through gritted teeth. Nicholas gave a nervous little laugh.

"Oh, ok, sorry, I thought for a second... Shit. Sorry. Ok, let's do this."

Then Danny giggled. And Nicholas grinned back, revelling in the release of tension, and feeling a warm rush of love for Danny. He took hold of Danny's face and tenderly kissed him, withdrew himself part way then slowly pushed again, sliding inside more easily now Danny was open to him. Nicholas shuddered with pleasure, pulling his mouth away from Danny's to suck in a ragged breath.

"Christ. Danny."

The feeling was so intense, Danny was so hot and firm around him, the urge to let go and drive hard into him was almost overwhelming. But he would never hurt Danny like that. He had to control himself, he had to be gentle with him. Nicholas continued to move considerately inside him, and he felt Danny start to push up to meet him each time, almost imperceptibly at first, then more and more insistently. Danny gripped Nick's biceps so he could push back harder into his tender thrusts.

"Fuck. Nick." He moaned. "Good!"

Nicholas could feel himself getting close and, holding himself up on one elbow, he reached down to take hold of Danny's cock, squeezing and stroking on instinct alone, trying to emulate what he would do to bring himself to orgasm when masturbating. Danny cried out, his eyes shut tight, one hand digging into the arm Nick was braced on, his other gripping the pillow, his body rising in time with Nicholas. It took all of Nicholas' restraint to hold back and let Danny move on him, and move in his hand.

"Nick, I'm... Oh fuck." Danny's whole body tensed as he came into Nicholas' hand, simultaneously pushing himself down onto him. Nick was gasping for breath himself now, the familiar rush taking over. The beginnings of his orgasm throbbed violently through him, but he forced himself not to slam into Danny, his desire not to hurt him greater than his need to give in to the feeling. He held himself as still as he possibly could, pressed deep inside and just nudging deeper as the sensations ripped through him. When it eventually faded, Nick collapsed down onto Danny's body, wanting to feel the reassuring warmth of him. He lay on top of him for a few moments, exhausted, and enjoying the contact too much to move, his forehead on Danny's chest, breathing hard.

When Nick felt himself softening, he reluctantly lifted his body and eased himself out. Not quite able to look at Danny yet, he headed into the bathroom and cleaned himself up, re-emerging with some tissue for Danny to wipe himself off on. He got back in bed beside him, proffering the tissue, waiting for a response. Danny was staring glazed eyed at the ceiling.

"Do you want this?" Nick asked. At the sound of his voice, Danny started and looked at him, then down at the tissue in his hand, then back at him again.

"Yeah. Ta." He croaked, sitting up and clearing his throat as he wiped his own stickiness from his belly. Nicholas lay down, suddenly feeling the predictable, shattering tiredness he always did after sex. The vague suspicion that Danny wanted to talk to him was not enough to prevent his eyes shutting of their own accord. He heard Danny finish cleaning himself and chuck the tissue across the room into the bin. He felt the bed move as Danny lay back down. Click, the bedside light went off and the residual brightness he could sense through his eyelids was gone. He sighed softly and felt the delicious pull of encroaching unconsciousness. He weakly fought it though, searching for the right words to ask Danny how he was feeling. Nicholas felt across the mattress until he found Danny's hand and took it, interlinking their fingers, hoping a physical gesture would suffice. Danny's fingers closed tightly on his, gripping firmly.

"Nick?"

"Hmmm?"

"I don't wanna sound like a girl or nuffin but... would you... like, hug me? I feel all, sorta... emotional."

Nicholas smiled sleepily in the darkness. He had not had to ask, but he definitely needed to respond. He wanted Danny to feel as blissfully content as he did.

"Course."

He rolled to his right, moving in close and moulding his body against Danny's. Nick laid an arm across him and rested his head on his chest. He felt Danny let out a slightly shuddering breath. "Better?"

"Mmmm, fuck yeah." Danny murmured, his tone absurdly soft against the harshness of his swearing. Nicholas chuckled a little, nuzzling against him, utterly secure in the knowledge that Danny loved him completely and he loved Danny. He was also feeling undeniably, ridiculously pleased with himself.

The staggering physical effect he seemed to have on Danny, and his apparent ability to please him sexually, had combined to produce a distinctly arrogant self satisfaction that Nicholas would never have wanted to admit he was capable of feeling. But after all the indecision, worry and confusion surrounding his relationship with Danny, Nicholas felt he deserved to feel pride at the success of his first attempt at making love to him. After all, though he was gentlemanly enough to repress it the vast majority of the time, Nicholas Angel had an ego, like any man, and sometimes it needed stroking.


End file.
